life is pain, princess

let’s get to the lesson at hand, kids:

today was about defeat.
despite lacking in competitors
(besides myself
my bleary-eyed, looking up from underwater, not even interested in gasping for air because i’m too busy wonder if i need to slow down or speed up to make up the difference self)
i was defeated.
while helping create
{for the department i’ve quickly come to call my own}
i watched as my real self took a step outside
waved a tiny goodbye as she briskly walked down the hall
and went to sit on the curb near the driveway
sunshine/shade
feet sprawled out
palms on the sidewalk
that gritty sidewalk gravel sticking to the grooves of her hands
gaze cast shoeward
that dove she’d seen swooping down earlier?
was, as fiona apple pointed out years ago, just a paper bag.

but don’t despair. our fair heroine will stand up once more.
for now, though, shoegazing is an essential part of the day.

i’m a mess even i don’t want to clean up.
can’t really sit around hoping someone else will pick up the dustpan.

~ by heartofasuperhero on March 22, 2007.